The year 2021 will be remembered by so many as the second year of the COVID-19 pandemic. But sadly, for myself and our team, it will be remembered for anything but.
Before I take you on that journey over the past 12 months I will introduce myself – I am a lawyer and director of Stratus Legal Group based in the regional Victorian town of Portland, the birth place of Victoria and the home of tuna fishing.
My story isn’t one that I would want anyone to experience, however, I am thankful for where I am today.
After starting my legal career in 2004 as a junior law clerk in Melbourne’s CBD, it wasn’t until 2012 that I started a law degree – while working full time and seven months pregnant with my daughter.
Fast forward to 2015 and after relocating to my hometown of Portland, juggling my husband’s shift work, raising kids, working full-time and still studying to obtain my degree, we bought a hobby farm on 11 acres complete with tank water, no gas, septic tank, wood heating, chickens, maremmas, cats, sheep and a few cows, too.
After finishing my degree in 2018 and graduate diploma in 2019, I was finally admitted to the Supreme Court of Victoria in August 2019.
After working with the same employer since 2007 I could finally call myself an Australian legal practitioner. I was in the privileged position of achieving real work-life balance, being able to attend school and sport events and work the hours needed.
The year of 2020, as it was for many, was an experience like no other. Learning to home school while working was challenging. My daughter, now in grade three, loved learning, however my son in foundation was still learning how to learn. Each work call would take my attention away from his learning, and he was quick to escape with his iPad and hide until I would realise he wasn’t at his makeshift desk. So cheeky.
This was the year my husband would need his first back surgery, having to stop work mid-year. Fortunately, home bound for most of the year courtesy of COVID-19, I was around to do all the jobs my husband couldn’t and the trade-off was I now had him on hand for any remote learning for the kids. After surgery late in the year he was mending well and we were all looking forward to a better year in 2021.
The firm I worked for was also in for a big, exciting year in 2021. There were major projects in the pipeline. We had been awarded a substantial grant from Regional Development Victoria that I had worked hard to obtain. The stage was set for a year like no other.
It was a little bumpy in the first few months. I was diagnosed with hypermobility disorder, which meant I had chronic joint pain throughout my body and had to give up my beloved basketball without notice. I started playing basketball when I was nine years old.
Staying positive, planning my husband’s 40th birthday celebration was exciting at the start of that year. Admittedly, it was hard with the uncertainty of the pandemic, however we were looking forward to seeing family for the first time in years as well as spending time with good friends. Two weeks before the big birthday bash, and only three weeks after my husband returned to work from his back surgery, a chair in their break room broke under him and it was worse than going back to square one for him.
On Tuesday 29 June 2021, I sent an SMS to my sole director, with an idea, something which happened on a regular basis between us. He was busy preparing for a court appearance the following day, so I didn’t expect a response or to talk about it with him. When he sent back a heart emoji, I left it at that, not outside ordinary behaviour.
I had been speaking with my husband throughout the day, he was still trying to return to work on restricted duties and was struggling with being blocked from returning to his workplace. A meeting had been set up for the next day with the HR manager, who was in a different state, to discuss his situation – he certainly wasn’t one to sit at home and twiddle his thumbs.
It had been a long day and after leaving the office later than usual, the third member of the senior management team called me. Again, not unusual, we spoke at length every day over the phone. I still remember her saying, “I hoped you were already at home by now”. I had just pulled into my road and was nearly home. Her tone sounded off and I asked her what was wrong. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that she was about to tell me that our world had been flipped upside down and our sole director and friend of 14 years was no longer alive.
The next day, I drove into town to head to the office. I remember thinking how was I going to go into that office and shatter my team’s day? They deserved to be protected from this but I knew there was not a chance I could shield them today.
I called my team based in Portland into the consult room, and of course it had to be the morning I had let a team member start late as they had a personal appointment just before work started. The team knew something was wrong. I was dressed haphazardly, which was unusual, and no make-up and puffy eyes. But they had no idea the bombshell I was about to drop. It was one of the hardest announcements I’ve ever had to make.
Each step thereafter felt like it took an eternity. I was driving between Portland and the Mornington Peninsula every few days. The other senior manager never really returned to work. On a personal level I understood how shattered she was. On a professional level, I not only lost my leader, but I had a double loss that fateful day.
Of course, as happens on so many occasions with suicide, the rumour mill started as to the why and “what did he do wrong?” which would have led him to take such a drastic step.
Having built a good relationship with all staff members over the years, I was calling 20+ staff every day or so to check on how they were going, knowing our flexible remote working environment was working against us right now and isolating so many of them. I would spend the long car trips calling staff members to check on them, their mental health and the legal matters they were working on.
I was grateful one of my colleagues was transitioning into partnership, which was meant to start on 1 July 2021. Being able to have honest and open conversations with him allowed me to push forward each day. My colleague and I were also very grateful that over the years we had come across an amazing mentor who was a lawyer, author and consultant. The mentorship role she took on to support us through this period was exceptional. Every time we needed to ask a question she would answer our calls. No words will ever express our gratitude towards her.
The only way to describe the following days, weeks and months is like a rollercoaster. We would think we had everything under control, only to be thrown another curveball. For about four weeks we kept the firm running with the hope we could keep it open as it was, at which point we got advice that our best next step would be to walk away and make a fresh start. My heart dropped again. It was also hard with so many people demanding answers that there were no answers to or, for legal reasons, they were no longer entitled to know despite them believing they deserved to know.
Faced with a tough decision, resignation letters were issued at which time an independent manager was appointed by the Victorian Legal Services Board and Commissioner. The appointed manager and his associate were the best result we could have received. They were incredibly understanding and explained each step as best they could. It’s our understanding that we were the largest law firm of a sole director to be in this position that they had dealt with and also, we were unique in being as geographically spread out as we were.
Despite the circumstances, my partner colleague and I started working through the options available to us. We agreed we were stronger together and so after offering one more lawyer to join us in a partnership, it was decided a new law firm would be created.
Over the next three months, we helped staff we couldn’t retain in the new firm find new employment, assisted the appointed manager with anything they needed, ensured counselling sessions were available for staff and myriad other tasks. We also tried to carve out what the future of the new firm would look like.
During this time, my husband’s health deteriorated from his injury. We’ve all heard workplace injury stories so I won’t go on, except to say he is no longer employed with that employer and is currently recovering from spinal fusion with a long road ahead and no prospect of returning to physical work again. Our hopes to stay on our lifestyle property are uncertain.
Fast forward to one year on, the firm has settled for one main location in Portland while a few staff still work from home. We renovated and now have a beautiful new office which focuses on being a place you enjoy spending your day in. It has a dedicated kids’ section, lovely large lunchroom with couches, dishwashers and, of course, an air-fryer.
There are certainly emotional ups and downs we deal with day to day and I will forever miss my friend who so tragically decided to leave this world. But amid the darkness, the light is shining and for my team, my family and I, we will continue to make the best of the situation we find ourselves in. ■